La Coop P.A.- General and Forensic Psychiatry - Boutique-Private Psychiatric and Forensic Practice in Tampa-Clearwater-Florida


July 2017 - How To Attain A Dream

My first advice is to DREAM BIG!!!

You guys know that I have been trying for a long time to have more babies. I just was at my OB visit yesterday and I know feel happy to tell everyone that my little darlings are now 12.5 weeks old.  This is the BIGGEST dream I have and it's coming true again.  I'm excited and want to thank all of you for all of your support.

How does one attain a DREAM?

This is something that I think about regularly because I never stop dreaming, but how does one make that dream a reality?

First off, let's get this one thing straight - this is not a reality TV show, this is a real life dream. So, unlike reality TV - things don't just happen. It is up to YOU to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

  • Write down that ONE goal
    I say one because I want you to focus on the one thing that is more important in terms of your dreams. When people have a TON they never do one. So, focus on that ONE thing that you want. Then, make that dream VERY specific. If you make it too vague or broad you risk not doing it.
  • Make steps to get to that goal in a broad sense if you know what you need to do to get there. For those of you that have a dream and you have NO CLUE how to get there, ask someone that is doing what you want to do and find out from them what it took for them to get there so you have some idea. Or, you can get a book on the topic. You can search the internet also. When I started my business years ago, I went on the SCORE website and found a mentor. There was NO ONE that was doing what I wanted to do, but many that ran a successful business. That person helped me in many ways. A lot of times I will work with patients on these in sessions as I've been in a lot of different settings throughout my life. However you find out, make a set of broad steps to get to the goal.
  • Take each one of those broad steps and make those the headers for a list of small steps that you need to do to complete each larger step. No major life dream gets done in a couple of steps. Many people work at their dreams over the course of years. For example, for me to have children, I've been trying since 2009! To have more, I've been trying since 2015. I worked on my business all throughout my residency and still do today. When I bought my first house, I was saving for years.
  • Anticipate barriers/challenges. No dream is worth wishing for if it is easy to achieve. Anticipate challenges. Anticipate set backs. Anticipate LIFE. Put these into your plan. If you get crushed once you hit the first roadblock - you don't have the stamina to achieve the dream. I'm not saying that it is easy and I have shed many tears to achieve many of the goals that I have reached. But, it is worth it. Because once you have achieved that dream, you will look back on the road to get there and it will be an amazing inspiring story for those who are lucky enough to hear it. I have the amazing vantage point to hear from so many people about how they overcame adversity to achieve something seemingly impossible. If you have difficulty facing adversity - that is something we can talk about and work on. Just may be a little tweak in your coping skills or a different viewpoint to get you out of that rut you are in and on your way to ACHIEVING THE DREAM!
  • Be persistent - KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE! Make a move toward your goal EVERYDAY. There are no days off when you are working toward greatness! If your goal is being a fitness model - there are no days off of working out and eating right. If your goal is to be a mother - that is a minute by minute job. Everything from your mindset to your nutrition and sleep - they all play a role. If your goal is to run your own business that again is a 24/7 job. There are no days off. If your goal is to meet a mate you have to search for them. You are NOT going to find them at your normal grocery stop while you are looking at bananas. You have to get on a website and search for them!
  • VISUALIZE the dream - if you can see yourself truly doing it it can be yours. If you think this is silly then your dream is silly. Some of my most successful patients are proponents of vision boards. I encourage that. The same thing goes for a list of goals. Those that write the list out are more likely to check things off the list. It's the same concept. Do that for your dream. Click off step by step by step - no matter how small everyday.
  • ACHIEVE the dream! You have to actually make the leap sometimes. Once everything is in place - then you have got to do it. I see a lot of patients who have been planning and working for too long. They have anxiety over what could happen and that stops them. Then, I have people with exactly the opposite problem and they leap to the end goal without having done the proper preparation. Both have problems. Once you have done all of the steps that I have outlined above, then you have to have a start date and GO FOR IT! Some people have the mentality that if they never try then they don't have to fail. That's the wrong attitude. If we have done careful planning and preparation you gotta go for it. I remember that time when I had to start my business it was scary (and if I knew that the crash was going to happen within the next year of opening I may NOT have done it)! But in the end once, I was there - I wasn't going to let it fail and so I worked so hard and worked it out! You can too!! You just have to work on this dream methodically and maybe one day people will say to you what they say to me (and it drives me crazy), "Boy I wish I could just have your life!" I guess I make it look easy!

Until next time!

Dr. L+4

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