Newsletter
April 2015 - Good things come to those who wait... HAPPY EASTER!
Greetings!
I wasn't intending on writing a newsletter this month, but some things inspired me. Particularly, my patients inspire me in so many ways. Also, now I have my little family and my daughters are incredibly inspiring. This month's newsletter is something of a motivational letter because of the message. Part of it came from an email I just wrote to one of my patients who is just having a tough time of it. Life just is difficult at times and throws you curve balls. The most frustrating of these curve balls, at least for me, is to try so hard at life and put everything I have into things and things don't seem to work out quite right. Outside of myself sometimes, I see there is someone that I know of that just throws things together and may not have the best intentions but it then seems that they have it all.
This is the same thing that this patient bumped into and she wrote me, just exhausted and exasperated by life in general and the seeming unfairness of it all. Below is an excerpt from the email and the message and things we can do to change this negative thought which can turn into action.
Best wishes for a wonderful Easter filled with sweet treats and the joy of spring.
All of my best.
Until next time,
Dr. L
LA COOP, PA - GENERAL AND FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY
AGAIN, THIS IS A MESSAGE TO A PATIENT, BUT I TOOK OUT SOME PERSONAL IDENTIFIERS FOR PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY...
You are never a disappointment to me and I'm sure your parents have said the same thing. I know you are a great person and I know all of the feelings that you describe because at many different times in my life - I have felt the exact same way. There are still times in this day and age where I feel the things that you have said. For someone that does nice things and feels like they get the shaft while there are other people that are just the scum of the Earth and they seem to have the world handed to them on a platter - these are normal feelings. However, just because they are normal doesn't mean they make you feel any better.
Now, the reality is - there are times when everyone feels this way. People have been done wrong and feel like because someone has done wrong to them - that somehow they are entitled to do wrong to someone else. In this particular case - this patient just decided to no show to work and leave the wrong doers in the lurch. Now, it seems like you are hurting them by this behavior, but the reality is in this situation you are hurting yourself (because you are a good person doing a bad thing knowingly). Remember the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right?" Well, just because you learned that as a child and you're 40 doesn't make it any less relevant.
You have no idea, the countless times I saw inmates come in pregnant and having killed their previous baby and I was having a tough time having one. I had to treat those people and I despised them for what they did to their children and for the fact that they didn't appreciate what I wanted more than anything. Like you, I had tough times finding guys. And you see others meet someone and get married and have their first kid before you even get engaged.
The thing is, you have to trust that one day what you deserve will come around to you. You have to put it out there. This is why I always tell you to put out the best foot. Not because these idiots deserve the best of you - because you are the person you are - a good person and this is what good people do.
Many of you know the struggles I have had with infertility. Many of you were there before I met and married my husband. Those were tough times there - lonely times. But, if I let those times get the best of me and act in a way that wasn't me - then I don't believe the things I cherish now would have ever presented themselves to me. Everyday you have chance to work for what you want. Don't forget that. You ever heard of the phrase, "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"? This is the premise behind what I am saying.
There will always be tough times ahead We just have to work with what we have and know that one day - doing the right thing will pay off. When I think about the entirety of my life and the things that I have been through I feel blessed that I met my husband. I felt like he came when I was ready for him. And now that we have been blessed with these gorgeous angels I feel like they came at the right time too. Maybe we wouldn't have been able to care for them the same if we had them earlier. Maybe we wouldn't have cared for them the way that they needed to because they were too easy to come by. I don't know. What I do know is that I am a good person and "good things come to those who wait." And while you wait, I don't want you to compromise on who you are. You are not a good person only the times that good things happen to you - you are a good person all of the time even when someone craps on you. This is one of the reasons of many that I have confidence as I go through my life even though I have anxiety about it - I am walking the path the right way. I have nothing to worry about. I don't ever look back because there's nothing I'm covering up or ashamed of.
It will come. I'll see you Saturday.
Dr. L
So, again, my patients inspire me daily. Find what inspires you and go in that direction. It may not be the easiest path (and it typically never is), but it is the right path.
PS. I want to thank all of you patients and friends who have reached out to me and my family during the tough time we have had with our daughter, Marigold, who needed to have urgent surgery to repair a diaphragmatic hernia. She is resting and recuperating thank God to her pediatrician and to our surgeon for their expertise and care in treating our lovely miracle.
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